I started writing this blog on myddo, because I didn’t have any friends who played ddo, and I wanted to talk about the game with someone. On myddo I met several nice ppl, some who play on the same server as me, and I also created my toon on Cannith to run with some ppl there. This blog has sort of been my diary for the past 1.5 years. Currently, except for writing it as entertainment for my dedicated readers (yes, I have a few of those, u know who you are), I also use it as a source of information when talking about the game, I can use the search function to locate old posts and screenshots.
I guess the blog has had both a positive and a negative impact. It has allowed me to connect with people, once in a while I get ppl saying hi in game because they read my blog, and sometimes I even get asked advice. But the neg is that people who don’t know me, may build up the wrong impression of me based on it. And if they already have a prejudged opinion of me, it’s not really going to change unless they talk to me one on one.
I have actually experienced prejudge several times before. When I was working abroad, I went home for a 2 week break. When I got back, I was maybe coming off a bit too bossy, and ppl were irritated with me (snapping at me). I got the impression that this one girl had been talking about me behind my back, and this was causing anger towards me. I solved it by getting to know these other people one on one and they realized that their prejudged impression of me was wrong. Other example was when I was studying IT, some of the boys in the class didn’t offer me any tasks in the group assignment, because they assumed I wouldn’t know anything. At the 2nd year of school I started making my voice heard more, started discussing code and rules of coding etc, and I felt like they found a new kind of respect for me, which felt very nice.
I do not believe respect is something that is given to you, but something you must work for. I am willing to work to prove my worth, and proving it is really important to me. But as someone told me “don’t try so hard to impress ppl, just play”, at times I just do it wrong, I try too hard and I end up falling flat on my face. I feel like I’ve my entire life had to fight to prove that I’m more than just a girl, that I can be an asset. I’m loyal and hard working and willing to learn. I learn fast and apply what I’ve learned, and I’m willing to teach others – to some extent. It’s like in ddo, I’m willing to offer advice in raids or quests, but I don’t really feel like teaching someone the basics of how to play, you know? I am like this at work, and I feel very proud when I’ve achieved the level of respect that I feel I deserve. My co worker told me that he was against them hiring me, because he felt like I didn’t have enough experience. A year later he admitted this to me, but also told me that I had proven him wrong. 🙂 I felt very proud and happy to hear this. I had won his respect.
It does make me sad, though, when ppl’s prejudge prevent me from being given a chance at a fair trial. I’m not exactly sure what I can do about it. I don’t want to stop writing this blog, as it gives me some pleasure, and it helps me connect with ppl. I also think my readers get something from reading my blog, some prolly mostly entertainment, but at times I think I have some information about the game to offer as well.
And as a theme song for this post, Finnish artist Anna Abreu:
Thank you for reading and don’t let the haters bring you down.