Personal thoughts; coffee and ddo

I’ve been trying to get off my coffee addiction. For the last 10 years or so I’ve on and off been trying to quit, only to start again after a while. In my early 20’s, I was having 1 cup a day in the morning and that was it. Later after I finished university and started working I started drinking more coffee, enjoying the caffeine rush. But sleeping too little (partly because ddo) and still doing everything else (working, exercise, taking care of the degus, household chores), coffee has been my imaginary energy boost. I call it imaginary, since when you drink 6-10 cups per day, you’re not actually getting the kick from it anymore, it’s more of a habit. So I decided to try and quit, again. I haven’t completely stopped, I’m allowing myself 1-2 cups/ day if I really crave it, but I try to only have green/ white tea instead.

What I’ve noticed is that I feel more sleepy, and I find it harder waking up in the morning. I think the caffeine was stressing my body too much, so I wasn’t really sleeping that well. This is still the transition period, so we’ll see how it goes and what happens. 🙂 Well, Xmas is drawing near, and while I don’t care about xmas itself, xmas means a deadline at work. I have a project that needs to get finished before I go on my winter vacation (not going anywhere, just not going to work for 2 weeks). If I can’t get my work done, I’ll have to work on xmas, and that I do not want to do.

Anywho, back to ddo. As you all know, I love this game. I play it something like 30-40/ h week. I mostly enjoy the social aspect, and I love running raids. Now, I don’t know what others want from the game, things like soloing epic elites and raids? Building the most powerful toons? For me, I want to socialize and learn. I may be lazy when it comes to learning quests, I maybe dislike TR’ing. But what I enjoy and appreciate are skills. Knowing how the mechanics work, knowing how to play your toon and knowing how to solve problems. When I set my mind to it, I’m very goal oriented. When I want something bad enough, I’ll do everything in my power to get it. I believe in work, not taking the easy way out. Of course, everyone has their limits, and when I get tired I do give up.

My wizard Cerge is a trapper. My plan with this toon is to TR into a different class every time, and run some epics/ raids to test out the class before next TR. I have no interest in standard builds, but I prefer blends that work. Of course, it took me a while to work out the kinks, and I focused Cerge specifically as a trapper, less as a wizard. I also didn’t respec him with U19. I think, in general I don’t focus on maxing dps. Dps has always come second to me, while survivability comes first. Maidae is meant to be my end game monk, I’m currently working on a barb past life, that I want to test at epic levels. Her dps isn’t currently as good as I’d like (we’ll see how blitz works later), but for being a barb I’m pretty happy with her. She’s got evasion, perma blur and displacement clickies. Yes, I use cocoon, but I don’t need it, I have pots for the occasion when I can’t use cocoon. And I need to check out what scrolls she can currently use (umd).

I think I got a bit off track. My wants from the game is to learn everything. To progress without taking too many short cuts (short cuts usually mean you skip in the learning process, so they’re contradictory), and to raid/ run ee’s. I am a bit shallow when it comes to gear, though. My toons almost only wear elite/ epic elite gear. Why not epic hard? Well, even if the difference is minor, if I can get the ee version, I’d rather have it. 🙂 Cause it looks better. And yes, most of the ee gear I’ve looted, not bought. I really wanted to be in a raiding guild with a raiding schedule. I like running raids, and I lead pug raids, but I would have wanted to do guild raids. I experienced this for a few weeks this summer as a member of Gimpfest. We didn’t do any ee raids (another of my wants is to do more ee raids), but we did a few guild raids/ week. When I got kicked out because of an argument with an officer, I tried to join Matrix, but that was a bust. I was told I can still raid with them, I just can’t join the guild.

It’s been a few months, but I can’t help to feel bitter every time someone else joins Matrix. I know, I know. I don’t need to be in their guild to raid with them. I don’t need a specific guild to raid. And I really like it in Osi’s guild, so I should stop complaining and enjoy. But the rejection still stings like a papercut that just refuses to heal. My only happy is that while some ppl have joined the guild, some others have left, including one of the veterans (at least I think he is, correct me if I’m wrong). And like mentioned in a previous blog I’m a proud “blacklisted slacker”, and will hopefully continue to raid with them. So, why the bitterness? I guess I just got my hopes and expectations up really high, and really thought I would be accepted, I hadn’t even considered the alternative. I am also very proud, and knowing some others that have been members, while I was declined…

I’m sorry Osi, I love you, I love the guild. Some cuts just go deep, and refuse to heal. I’m working on it.

That’s all, ty for reading and have a wonderful day.

P.S. “For crying out loud, it’s just a game. Don’t be such a baby.”
🙂 It’s a lot more than a game, it’s a virtual world that we share with others. There are real people behind the screen with real feelings. Things that doesn’t matter a bit to you, might matter a lot to someone else, so who are you to say what’s important?

P.P.S Michael Bublé – Home:

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2 comments on “Personal thoughts; coffee and ddo

  1. You think you have it hard? My wife works at Starbucks. Caffeine is practically my superpower. 🙂 But yeah, too much caffeine and you’ll start seeing Matrix raining code…without a display. I’d say you’re gaming too much but that would be the pot calling the kettle black. I like your initiative, however. Grinding and enjoying it is a gift of appreciating what the game gives, even when a little repetitive.

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