Thazara is as you know my oldest toon, and the toon I know the best. In fact, I consider her to be me. She’s a hard worker, and very dedicated to her role in a party. Long ago I decided I was never going to TR her, but to collect all the favor I can and see how far she can go. I’ve written many blogs about Thaz, so I’m not going to repeat myself here, but continue with my story.
Thazara is a first life elf cleric. She has a bit over 2900 sp, and positive spell power over 300 when I equip her devotion item. I don’t raid heal much on her anymore, as she doesn’t really need much from the raids, and I don’t really enjoy healbotting. In fact, people who know me, know I prefer byoh groups where I can focus mostly on offensive casting. I have no problems throwing a heal here and there, I just don’t too much like being responsible for keeping people alive… anymore.
When I was leveling Thaz I was pugging, almost exclusively. I learned what was expected of me, and I made it into an art. I wanted to be a pro healer. I also stressed a lot about it, and I still can’t stand it when people die on my watch. If I’m focused on healing I usually work my ass off for it. And I take it as a personal failure if I could have saved someone and didn’t. Same is true for the opposite, though, it feels awesome when I succeed. I care about my rep, and I know I can heal, so I stress a lot when things are not going as I’d like, even if it’s not my fault.
So, on to the topic of this post. Yesterday was Cannith night. I logged on Orien a quarter to midnight my time, this time not for Matrix raids, but to run ee FoT with the selected group. I had an in game message waiting for me telling me that the day’s raid had been cancelled due to absences, so I decided to join Matrix’s eVON instead (Matrix + pug). I was feeling tired, I was pushing myself just because I like raiding, and I wanted to raid. Earlier on Cannith my net connection had died once and I had some troubles getting back in, and when logging on Orien the same thing happened. I had to relog twice. I’ve been playing on a 3g connection since I started playing, and at times it acts up, giving me a lot of latency and sometimes I lose connection. But as we were running the pre my connection was ok, so I didn’t think more about it.
I was running in Shiradi as I always do, except for ee FoT (where I run in Sentinel), and as we were running south to finish the pre, the raid group filled. I noticed I was the only healer. I’ve never solo healed eeVON6 before, so this made me a bit nervous, but if the leader has faith in me, I guess I do too. And I’ve been told that all Matrix players can solo heal it, so I figured I should be able to as well. We enter the raid, I throw my mass buffs, try to find the ppl in the party list who are asking for fom and off we go. Bases get prepped and cleared and we’re ready to face the dragon. Party gathers before the gate (that is now open), I throw healing spring and off we go. I go stand behind the rock like always. I have my spot where I can reach the players and Velah without getting hit by fire. Then I need to choose a player to focus my masses on, and as I’m a bit sleepy I’m not quite clear headed. I pick the barbarian, as they usually need the most heals.
I’m casting my mass cures and heals at a good pace and one player is not getting healed and dies. I tell him “you’re not standing with the other melees”. Someone calls fire and the barb runs behind the rock, I have to pick another person to focus on. I pick one of the fighters. Then I freeze for a few seconds and I’m getting very worried that I’m gonna dc. When I can move again, I get back to healing, but ppl start dying, Velah’s fire hits me and I die. I get a raise, I heal, raise someone, casting heals as fast as I can. I run out of turns and have to switch focus to heal myself. Then the eggs spawn and my target runs off after them and I have to switch target again. My heal doesn’t take, I die again. I get back up, throw more heals… and it’s over. We won. With about half the party dead.
I made in my opinion 2 major mistakes. 1. I should have told the leader my connection was acting up, that I might lag or even dc. 2. I should have asked the party who is nose fighter, i.e. the person who will stay beating on Velah no matter what. My laggy connection I could do nothing about, but having the right target from the start would have helped.
I have come a long way since my first time solo healing VON6 (that time on heroic see VON6 wipe), and this time I didn’t get yelled at for doing a bad job. But I can’t help but feel like I did that time, like everything was my fault.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.