I am a ddo addict. Anyone who knows me, knows this to be true. I mean, I don’t play quite as many hours as some, as I do have real life stuff to do. I work full time, I have my degus (I should add some pics some time), I got swim practice 2 times a week, and I try to exercise at least 4 times a week. On top of that there’s other stuff like cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. But I spend most of my free time playing ddo, having to give up some ddo time for household chores. I was also recently diagnosed degenerative disc disease, which basically means I have a degenerated spinal disc. What it means is that my back starts hurting if I sit or stand still for long periods of time… which I of course do when playing ddo, and at work since I work as a software developer.
Well besides the physical reasons why ddo isn’t good for me, then there’s the emotional. I have been cheating on sleep. I do it a lot anyway, but I started doing it more when I started playing more. I have also reduced my social life outside the game to a bare minimum. I don’t want to go out with friends, and when I do I can’t wait to get home and play. I’ve gotten to know a lot of ppl in game that have become my friends. But, I am needy. I want company all the time, someone to talk to etc. I spend so much time alone irl, I don’t want to do it in game. I play to spend time with others, from the safe environment of my own home.
The thing is, I miss people in game. I get to know some, and then when I don’t see them in a long while etc, I miss them. To quote Dawn in Buffy (my favorite tv show) “People always leave”. I get attached to people, and then they aren’t around enough. Also, people tell me they want to help me level, or they can help me get gear, or even that they’ll TR with me, and then they go do stuff without me. I don’t trust people. I don’t trust them when they say they will help me or run with me, because if I did, I’d constantly be disappointed, and I don’t like being disappointed.
But, I am strong. No matter what I’ll still have me. If everyone leaves, I’ll still have me and I will go on. People come and go.
P.S. Yes, I know. I’ve been a bit down since U19, and not sleeping means I’m pretty much on edge all the time. Hence some of the outbursts.