Candy and other sugary treats, we eat them for pleasure. They contain no nutrients and they’re not considered good for us in any way, we eat them for the momentarily pleasure they give us. I grew up with “eat what you take”, so I used to even finish desserts I didn’t like, just because that’s how I was taught. At some point I started thinking about this, if I only eat it for pleasure, why would I eat something I don’t like? Hence I stopped eating treats that did not offer my taste buds pleasure.
DDO is a bit like candy. We don’t play it because it offers us nutrients or because it’s good for us, we play because it gives us pleasure. And if we only play for pleasure, we should play the game the way we enjoy it, and group with people we like. The thing with me is that I also want to finish what I started, so at times I’d rather finish a run, than worry about enjoying it. I’m playing to win, even if I at times have to work hard for it, this gives me pleasure.
But, twice this week I considered recalling and dropping a group that was making my time in the run unpleasant. I joined a shroud run on I believe Tuesday night. In the group were some people that don’t like each other, and one person started sabotaging the other person’s run, technically bullying and harassing him, and they ended up yelling at each other over voice. I was there to run shroud, so I told them “I don’t give a fuck about your issues, so shut the fuck up”. I was there for shroud, I wanted my mats and completion. The run kept getting more and more unpleasant and come phase 5 another player started yelling at the bully. The whole thing was a bit like having your teeth drilled at the dentist. Applying the pleasure principle, I should have recalled and left as soon as the run started to feel sour. The game is about fun, and that was not fun, not even worth the completion. And yes, I did report the bully after the run, even though I just would have wanted to leave it alone.
Yesterday I ended up grouping with a person who I don’t particularly like. It’s not that I directly dislike him, it’s just that I can’t talk to him, he for some reason takes everything I say the wrong way, and then I get all stressed about it, so I decided to just avoid him. I didn’t know it was him when I joined the group, as he was on an alt I didn’t know, and he didn’t use his mic. After a while he writes in party chat “Funny story. Thaz blamed me for not getting into Matrix, when I was the only one supporting her.”. I went quiet, just waiting to see what he would say next. Thinking about how to respond. The truth is, I never blamed anyone for not getting into Matrix. What I did, was ask him if he’d been saying bad things about me to his guildies, as I know him and how he talks. There are so many ways I could have responded to that, but I decided to leave it be. But, as I was sitting there, thinking of what to do, and how to respond, I was also considering recalling and dropping group. I didn’t and I’m glad I didn’t, but had he said anything I would have considered mean, I would have left.
I don’t drop groups easily. In fact, except for a couple of really bad CitW runs, and one Servants of the overlord run, I don’t really leave group if anyone else is willing to try. I’m the captain that goes down with the ship, as long as I have people willing to try, and I feel we can complete, I want to try. Some people experienced this when I spent 3-4h in ee Tor, because we really didn’t have the dps for it, and I was too stubborn to give up.
Anywho, I do need to learn to just recall and leave if I don’t like the group. This will make the game more pleasurable for me, and hopefully make the other people in the group think a bit about how they act. It is a game, but we are all people with feelings behind the screen, and showing some manners isn’t too much to ask, even if it’s sometimes too much to expect from some people.
Alright, that’s all for now. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.