I spend a lot of time thinking about things. I over think things, and I like to analyze situations, and people’s behavior. The mind is a strange and fascinating thing. We are all different and react differently to other people’s behavior. When you then throw together people from all over the world online, playing the same game, you will have conflict. It is unavoidable. In ddo I do a lot of pugging, playing with strangers, and people who are no longer strangers as we keep running into each other over and over again. Some have even become friends. The age of the people I play with vary between 15 and 40+, and they are from all over the world and different cultures.
I consider manners and a bit of tolerance to be important. Show good manners, but tolerate a bit of less good manners from others, and you’ll get a long with the majority of people. When I first started playing, I considered some behavior to be rude, now I accept it as I’ve gotten used to it. I try to lead by example and behave in the way I want my co gamers to behave. For example, always say thank you after a run, leave group before logging off if you have to go, and such. Note, I said try. No one is flawless and I am sure I on occasion fail to follow my own rules. Everyone has bad days.
Now, who am I as a player, and why am I so addicted to this game? What is it that drives me? Thinking back on growing up, I can see the same characteristics that I currently show in game as well. I am goal driven and I want to succeed. I am also social (online specifically) and I enjoy talking to people. After having played this game for 2 years now, and half or more of it running raids, I have learned what I like and don’t like. I like semi-fast smooth runs with people who know what they’re doing and listen to and follow leader’s chosen tactics. I hate it when you have some idiot in your group who either thinks they know better than than everyone else and starts giving contradicting orders, or someone who doesn’t listen and does opposite to chosen tactics. I like doing my own lfm’s, or joining groups that I know and trust. I don’t like wasting time in groups that don’t have what it takes to complete the task at hand, or at least not in any decent amount of time.
For a moment I was a bit worried that I had developed a bad habit of ordering people around, even in other’s raids, but then it hit me. My problem is not that have to be in charge, my problem is with playing healer. I learned to play this game from the healer side, which is both good an bad. I was never declined from groups, as people always want healers, and I started taking charge, just to keep people alive. I cannot heal through walls, and when you reach epics/ epic elites, I cannot keep spot healing people in a group either, just because I do not switch target fast enough. It takes a player 2 seconds to die in epic elites, when getting hit straight on, it takes me as long to target them, while only 1 second to hit heal/cure/bursts. So, if I can just cast a mass cure from my current target, the player will live, if I have to switch, they will die (in a situation when a non self healing/ non kiting melee is getting hit straight on). And, if they die, I will get the blame. So, to avoid getting blamed for failing to heal people, I started ordering them to stay in heal range so I could do my job properly, as well as demanding that they play smart to save me mana. People don’t really reimburse me for my efforts either, so I’ve had to make the play field my own. The good thing about playing a healer is that you’re constantly looking at the party’s hp bars, even if not on your healer, and can spot problems early.
Now, this spring I ED farmed on Thaz to get her primal avatar epic moment, the tree. Then I started practicing doing dps in epic elites, while healing myself. I was suddenly no longer the party healer, but the main dps in many quests, and I was really enjoying it. I was enjoying having a toon that could do a lot of dps, but still heal herself quickly and had all the self buffs she needed if she died. I mean, I still die a lot when doing tree in epic elites, but I’ve gotten better at it. I also started doing StormReaver tank in FoT, and got better at it after some advice from a friend “only wear plis for boom, to save charges”. I realized that I’m currently very unhappy in the role of party healer, and I prefer byoh groups a lot more. I look out for myself, and I wish others would too (look out for themselves). With the ed’s, it’s not even difficult anymore to have self healing.
I enjoy end game content, I love running raids. I want to improve as a player, and I want to help others succeed in their tasks as well. It gives me a happy when my efforts pay off, and we as a group succeed. I am a team player, but I want us to be equals, I want everyone to make an effort, and to come prepared to quests/ raids. I have nothing against new people, or people wanting to learn new roles. I will gladly share what I’ve learned, or how I usually do things, as long as the other is open to it. I will, though, fight for my say, if someone is making opposing claims without a proper explanation. I do not claim to be right all the time, I base my say on what I’ve seen. If you know better, explain it in a way that makes sense and I’ll listen.
Alright, thank you for reading and have a wonderful week. 🙂
P.S. Omg! I’m so arrogant! 😄 lol