Attitude

This weekend I ended up playing a lot longer in one session, than I had first planned. The plan was to run with my sister and Kudesnik at midnight my time, and I logged at 8pm, which gave me 4h to run raids etc before switching to my druid. I wanted to run CitW so put up an lfm for it. Things didn’t go so well, 3 h later the only thing I had done was that damn CitW. I jumped on a not so elite Shroud, just to get something easy done before switching, even though there were some first timers. I have not run Shroud as many times as some long time players, but with 40+ runs on Thaz (most on hard or elite), ~30 runs on Cerge and 7? runs on Maidae, Shroud doesn’t give me stress almost at all. I don’t care if ppl mess up, because in most cases it can be completed anyway. Fail percentage is ~0 (I have wiped in Shroud, but it has been due to lag or trying elite with a not elite party). Anywho.

Switching to my level 12 druid, the plan was to run a heroic elite VON 5-6. I have run VON 30+ times (again, not as many as some, but have still run it on 4 toons now), but I’ve never done the voice and the ring, so I was expecting someone else to do it. The first try we lagged out completely (instance freeze) and had to restart. But second try, was fine, except, I had to learn the hard way how to do the ring and the voice. I didn’t talk twice to the north and the east head and had to go back and do it.  This leads up to the topic of the blog post. First, a friend and a guildie logged as we were ip with the first try, and when I asked if he’d like to come, he replies “you’ve been in there a long time already” and “it usually takes about 30 minutes”. I know he knows VON really well, while I don’t know it, so thanks for not helping. After me getting irritated he says “I already did it, and I want to save the xp for epic levels”. Well, thanks. So, instead of telling me you just don’t want to do it, you start off by putting me down for taking too long? And to top it off, someone in the party says “this is probably the longest VON group I’ve been in”.  My response to that was (no, I don’t hold back, and I can be pretty harsh) “well, if it’s taking too long, do something to fix it”. This person did nothing.

I have a few more examples of attitude that I don’t like. Me and grim have been running house C challenges on Wednesdays, and this sort of friend of mine (druid) likes to join. Well, I still let him join, because more people is still more people, but I don’t like his attitude. When things are getting messy, or we’re moving too slow, he gets bossy. He starts commanding people, and then gets frustrated when he can’t get people to do what he wants. And the best (worst) bit was last week. We were running picture portals in the mansion. He runs off on his own, dies, then sits there looking at the time, writing “open doors, open doors”. The rest of us were in an area with 2 doors, that we couldn’t get open because we didn’t have the right crests, so we were tying to find them. Very helpful (not).

And then, two more attitude things from my guildie. He put an an Abbot raid, because I wanted to run it. I was eating, so didn’t care that it took a while to fill. When we were ready to get started, my guildie writes in guild chat “this isn’t going to work, and I used a bypass timer”. My reaction to that is, so, if this isn’t going to work, why am I here wasting my time? I think I even told him so. We failed on the first try, but second try was a success. Later on I put up an FoT raid, and things didn’t go so well. My guildie wrote in guild chat “that person isn’t very good, you’ll see” and “this isn’t going to work, I’ve used too much mana, dps is too low” etc. I was sitting there, trying to lead the party through, seeing people trying to do things. Yes, our dps was low. But if my guildie is there, making an effort too, why the attitude? And, what does he want me to do, rage quit?

I do not like negative attitudes. In fact, I react very strongly to it when it’s in a raid. If someone doesn’t think we can do it, they should leave, or stay and help us succeed. I am a fighter, and I will keep fighting until there is nothing left to fight for. The CitW run, after we had taken out the legs, I had the mayor part of the party dead, and the ones left standing were running up to Lolth and dying. I was feeling very much like I had no control of the situation and that I wanted to give up. Instead I said “Ok, everyone stop. Come here, let’s regroup”. Sometimes, when it feels like things are not working, that I don’t gave a grip on the situation, instead of throwing my hands up, I change tactics and try to make it work. I do not like it when I’m already pushed to my limits, and someone like my guildie says things like “this isn’t working”. Thank you, I know. So help me?

Thank you for reading.

P.S. In the FoT run, I had been playing for ~20h straight, was very tired. My guildie’s attitude in FoT had me close to tears. After we failed (because we did), he wanted to talk (I had told him off in guild chat already) and I ended up saying “I got a bit upset about this, so I really don’t want to talk to you right now”. I joined a Shroud group that made me feel a lot better (got some praises for being a good healer and having a good toon). 🙂

P.P.S I ran an FoT on Thaz a while before the failed FoT (where I was on Maidae). Again I got some praises for Thaz, that made me feel very good. My goal with Thaz has always been to make her survivable. Survival comes before everything else. So, in FoT, when things goes sideways, I start kiting. I divine intervention myself, and run around healing myself while trying to get the party back up. That FoT did also go a bit sideways, and at a point I had more than half the party dead and all the trash on me. I managed to get the party back up and we managed to complete. One party member was impressed, and said “all that trash on you and it was like nothing to you. Definitely one of the better healers” ❤ 🙂 made my day, for sure.

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14 comments on “Attitude

  1. It beats me, I find it hard to understand why all this fail-phobia. Was this the case before MMOs, by the way? That kind of attitude is a real pita. People only like “smooth runs, perfect runs”, few minutes more or smaller numbers and they whine, that’s hard to bear, it must be even harder for you as a healer.

    Yes, you are strong and I like that. I’m glad that you got the recognition that you deserve, kudos!

    • 🙂 thank you. I donno if it was like this before MMO’s, but I can imagine that MMO’s have made ppl want things to happen faster (compared to PnP).

      My guildie got a lot of anger from me this weekend (including name calling). I react very badly to ppl putting me down instead of helping me succeed. I want to succeed, and I will give it my all. If you’re not willing to do so, you can leave.

      • I have seen this kind of behavior in PnP as well, it just doesn’t get the Internetz’ Cloack of Anonymity. I do agree, it’s about wanting to get things faster, limited time to play, wanting to catch up with others, etc.

  2. I think there have always been people with this attitude: if it’s not easy then whine and bitch. MMO’s just make it easier to see 😦

    But you have the right attitude, Micki 🙂 If something’s not working, rethink, regroup, whatever it takes. Yes, there may be times when it just isn’t going to happen. But giving up at the first hurdle…?

    And yes, I realise this is a game and maybe my thoughts on this this will differ to other people. But if you’re like this in a game – how the hell do you deal with real life situations?

  3. “I had been playing for ~20h straight, was very tired.”

    20 hours, wow that’s a record for me. I never played for more than 10 hours straight, and If I start to fail things I usually log off and take a nap/rest 🙂
    Playing intermittently with rest works best and prevents exhaustion, fatigue and negative health effects.

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